Working in a hard Montana or Dakota wind can be humbling experience. You often have no choice but to surrender to its immensity and force or exhaust yourself fighting it. Strong winds always remind me of major life change and how often we resist it thinking change means failure. Yet in forsaking our ability to change we diminish our capacity for hope. (Written June 27, 2012. Little did I know at this point how much change was yet to come and so desperately needed in my own life.)
Winds of Change Poem by Jennifer Garreau
The winds of change batter at my door, exposing the cracks in my life, in my integrity. They dismantle the shelter of my flimsy illusions and lack of self-worth, blowing my ego aside.
Each new bone chilling blast stirs and funnels the biting hurt and confusion in my soul, awakening me to my own ugliness and the unworkable patterns in my life; tearing at my psyche and clearing out the cobwebs in my mind.
Powerful gusts clear the way to expose the truth that lives close to the bone, stripping me bare, naked and vulnerable for the world to see.
The structure I have built for myself trembles and shakes. I quiver in fear; this is out of my control. I don’t know where this wind may blow.
As I brace against each new blast, I become more rigid with fear and hear the creaking warning sounds of a life about to snap.
I am exhausted, so tired of trying and striving to hold on to a life that isn’t even my own. This can’t go on much longer; I don’t have the strength or will to fight.
I am left with no choice but to surrender to a will that is not my own. I quiver in fear; this is out of my control. I don’t know where this wind may blow.
In letting go and accepting I find I can bend instead of break with each new blow.
Powerful gusts clears away the fears that block the love within, exposing the truth that lives close to the bone, stripping me bare, naked and vulnerable for the world to see.
Exposed I am no longer covered by the lies and self deceit.
The winds that previously terrorized me are now my friend. Stripped of the beliefs and behaviors that held me in bondage they call me to become who I fully am and demand that I return to myself.